Our Past
by Chris Emrys
Summary: Sequel to Comfort from Avalon. Merlin finally shares all the secrets of their past with Arthur. Third Part in Destiny Tales Serie.
1. Prologue

Hello dears~~

I'm on a roll today XD This is the Third Part in Destiny Tales serie, and the direct Sequel to Comfort from Avalon. This story will be a sort of Watch the Serie fic, but with a twist ;)

By the way, know that I have written 7 more chapters of Our Past, all posted on my Tumblr and AO3 (again, links on my profile); so you know where to go if you want to read more than the Prologue :P

**Pairing:** Merlin/Arthur.  
_Note on Pairings: Because of the fact Merlin and Arthur will discuss past events, Arthur/Gwen and Merlin/Freya will be mentioned. Also, Lancelot/Gwen is a side pairing_.

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_**Prologue**_

The flames of the fire reflected on Merlin and Arthur as they sat side by side on the rug in front of it. They had come back from Lake Avalon, and as Merlin promised he would tell Arthur everything. Except he couldn't start. All his life he had hidden his magic, and now he was afraid of the consequences of telling Arthur the whole truth.

Arthur watched Merlin as his internal battle was obvious. It saddened him, because he genuinely wasn't angry at him. All he wanted was to learn more about magic from Merlin. He wanted to learn more about _Merlin_.

"Come one Merlin, you can tell me everything" he started, fondness slipping in his tone. "I am serious when I say I understand. I don't hate you. I just want the truth. No matter what it is."

Merlin smiled faintly. "But you could hate me after that."

"No." The king replied, startling Merlin from the firmness in the single word. "Do you think I'm blind? Do you think I don't see how much scared you are? How much you genuinely care? No matter what you have done, I know you never meant bad. And honestly, my father has done many bad things." The blond now knew how much it was true, as now he understood not all magic was evil. "So please Merlin…" he trailed off, vulnerability crossing his face.

He knew Merlin must have suffered all these years. And he hated that. He wanted Merlin to share his burdens with him, like Arthur himself had done with Merlin.

"Alright." The warlock agreed, a faint blush on his face. He had seen what was truly in Arthur's heart. He had seen the genuine care, and it gave him the strength he needed. "I'll explain everything that happened since I met you. But first, I should start by telling you that…" he paused, a bit unsure. Arthur put his hand on his, gently pushing him to speak. Merlin sighed, looking down. "That I am born with magic." He finished, glancing as surprise crossed the other man's face.

"Isn't that… Impossible?" he asked.

"Well, Yes. I am the only one like that. I could move object even before I talked or walked."

Once again, surprise grabbed Arthur. "Without spell then?"

"Yes, I didn't need them. My magic has always been a part of me, like a limb I can control. And like the blood in my veins."

"And… you said no one is like you? What about… Morgana?" he winced at the mention of his sister.

"She is born with the ability of seeing the future, and with magical abilities. It is only as she grew up that it developed."

"So you mean… At best others can be born with capacities that awaken later, but no one except you had it since the beginning?"

"Exactly. For me it has always been an instinct. I would stop a falling object mid-air while everyone else would try to catch it with their hands." He stopped, letting Arthur digest this.

The blond was indeed shocked. It sounded like Merlin had great magic. The prospect that Merlin could be powerful, and had chosen to stay his servant-and was happy to be, like he had once said-humbled him.

"But then… How did you manage to hide it in your village?"

"My mom explained to me it could be dangerous. She raised me to try hiding it, like you can raise someone to try controlling their emotions. I managed not to do any blatant magic." A smile appeared on his face. "But sometimes, I would play pranks with Will."

Realization hit Arthur. "He lied for you this day. He knew who you were, but lied to protect you."

"Will didn't know right away. I accidentally used magic in front of him as we were teenagers. I was so used to him, and he was my best friend. I forgot to hide." Merlin smiled fondly yet sadly. "He took it well. If you don't count the slap on the head and the 'Idiot'." He chuckled at the memory.

Arthur smiled too, happy Will had been such a good friend. Curiously, Arthur asked, "And with your mom? Did she let you use magic when you were alone?"

"Oh yes. She was afraid for me, but she always loved watching me do little tricks. And I always loved making her smile with it."

The other male smiled fondly, not being surprised. Even knowing he had magic, he understood Merlin was the same he had always known. Only this part of him-his magic-had been hidden.

"Can you show me?" Arthur requested. He really wanted to see by himself.

Merlin's eyes widened. He eyed his friend, hesitant. But the blue eyes that gently watched him patiently was all the reassurance he needed. He put his palm between them, his eyes glowing gold as his magic rushed to his command, happy and eager to finally be revealed to Arthur. A blue ball of light appeared, white surging inside.

Arthur, who had been mesmerized by the golden glow of Merlin's eyes, gasped. "That's the one! When I went for the Morteus flower, it saved me!" He stared at Merlin. "But you were dying!"

Merlin smiled. "I'll explain when we get here."

Arthur pouted slightly, wanting more than ever to learn more about his friend. Merlin let the ball over, its glow warming both of their face. Both were subtly watching the other, admiring the glow on each other face.

Merlin then kept talking. "One day, my mother learned that Will knew. She was very freaked out. It didn't help that the villagers were shunning me out more and more." He looked down. "They were getting suspicious. They always felt I wasn't normal."

Arthur frowned at Merlin's words. He didn't like the way he sounded, as if he believed what the villagers thought. It pained him even more when he remembered when Merlin had said to him he didn't fit in his village anymore, when he had asked why he left Ealdor all these years ago, when they knew each other less than a year. Was it the result of his father's reign? The greatest friend he ever had living each day under not-so-gentle looks and hiding all his life in fear of death and hate? Arthur clenched his fist. As much as he loved his father, this part of his reign was one he truly hated now.

Merlin saw the emotions crossing Arthur. It touched him the man he secretly loved didn't think like everyone else. He took Arthur's hand in his, relaxing it. Arthur jumped lightly, and smiled at his friend. He nodded to him, telling him to continue.

"My mother decided to send me to Gaius. She wanted me safe, and she believed he could help me." Merlin smiled fondly. "And that's when my life really changed…"

_To be continued…_


	2. The Dragon Call

Hello dears~~

Here is the first chapter of Our Past! Lengths of chapters will be different depending on how much an episode gives me work, but they are generally long chapters! I hope you will enjoy how I write this sort of Character Watch the Show fic! And don't forget, if you are interested and would like to wait less between my reposts of chapters, you can check my Tumblr or AO3 where Our Past has already 8 chapters!

**Pairing:** Merlin/Arthur. Background Gwen/Lancelot. Mention of past Arthur/Gwen and Merlin/Freya.

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_**Our Past**_

_The Dragon's call._

"You should have seen me when I arrived at Camelot. It was so different-so lively." Merlin recalled with a soft smile. It made Arthur smile too. "However, I soon realized why my mom had always been so worried." At Arthur's confused look, he explained. "In Ealdor, the most I feared was to be hated. I didn't realize I could be executed for that. Well, my mom had explained to me the danger, but you know, until you are confronted with it, it seems far away from you."

"What happened?" The king asked. The way Merlin was talking, he knew he had witnessed something that had the effect of cold water.

"I had just set foot in the courtyard when they executed Thomas Collins." He still remembered the man and his name. How could he not, when it had been what had opened his eyes on what he was risking? "I… I suddenly understood my mom, how she had freaked out when she learned Will knew. I couldn't look away, even when they…" He paused, wincing. "Because It could have been me." He finished.

Merlin glanced at Arthur, and noticed the man was frozen, horrified. "Arthur?"

The blond stared at his friend. He had seen the execution from his window-where he had always preferred watching when his father didn't force him to be at his side. Sometimes, he thought they deserved it, sometimes he felt sympathy for those who had seemed innocent. But to suddenly be in the shoes of another-someone who was seeing himself in a possible future-and especially Merlin… He too suddenly realized the fear that his father had given in the heart of people. And to be honest, it sent shivers down his spine.

Arthur snapped out of his state when he heard Merlin calling. "I'm so sorry about that. I wish I…" He wished what? Not to have been blind? Not to have sought the approval of his father so much he killed innocent?

Merlin gently took his hand. "You couldn't know Arthur. It's not your fault; you had been raised to believe the evil of magic. If you feel like you did wrong, then do right now. The most important is to learn from our mistakes."

Merlin's wisdom always surprised Arthur. It had always appeared when unexpected-and so often when he needed it. "You're right Merlin." He nodded to his friend with a smile, silently telling him to continue his tale.

Merlin was about to tell him about meeting Gaius, but then he remembered a detail. Arthur had been insistent Merlin told him everything he could remember about magic. "Thomas' mother then appeared. I felt sad for her, especially since I could picture my mom in her place. But then she started threatening your father… and then she vanished. I was so confused, and my magic wanted me to go away."

"Why?"

"I couldn't understand why she would want to do wrong with her magic. And her magic felt wrong. I understand now that my magic was repulsed by the dark magic she used."

Arthur blinked. "You mean magic doesn't like… darkness?"

"In a way, yes. Magic isn't good nor evil. The same spell could be used to help or destroy." To illustrate, he created a little flame in his hand. "I could warm a fire with that, or burn someone. Magic just do what I ask for. But dark magic are spells that twist the soul and magic. Their intent taint the magic called for it, and magic doesn't like that. That's why someone with untainted magic feels the instinct to recoil from dark magic-as much as the instinct to destroy it."

"I see… I would have never thought that." Arthur frowned as something hit him. "Wait, you speak of magic like it is a person. Is it?"

"I don't really know the answer to that. It exists everywhere, and those who learn to can direct it. Sometimes, people are born with magic in them. It feels like it is alive, when you think of it. It cans even acts when you're asleep or unconscious."

"It certainly sounds like it has a mind of its own." Arthur agreed.

There was a minute of silence as Arthur processed this. He was learning so much about magic-things he never thought before. The fact that Merlin was the one teaching him all of that was… wonderful. Arthur loved the sparkle in his eyes when the raven-haired spoke about magic. A blush crept on his cheeks as the thought it was endearing crept in his mind.

Merlin arched an eyebrow, but Arthur just gestured for him to keep on. "After I get other my shock, I went to find Gaius." A small smile appeared on his face. "My mom had told me he could help me. I was excited, because I wanted to learn more about these powers I had and what I could do." Merlin chuckled. "At that time… I had never studied magic or spells. All I knew about magic is that it was in me, and that it answered to me like my arms and legs. And of course, that it could do things that seems normally impossible."

Arthur felt pained. If he had been discovered at that time, he would have been killed for something he didn't control. For something he didn't even understand. Arthur would have said it would have been like killing him because he had been born a prince, but it sounded wrong. Because at least, Arthur had been raised to know what a prince is, and what to do. Merlin didn't even have that at that time.

"My encounter with Gaius was… memorable." It was Arthur's turn to arch an eyebrow. "When I went inside, he was up, looking through books. I called for him, and he leaned back. It just happened so fast then. The railing broke down and he fell. I feared for his life, and the idea of hiding my magic flew out the window. I just slowed down time and pushed his bed under him."

"S-Slow down time?" Arthur spluttered. Not only he had thought that impossible-but really the word should vanish when it came to magic and Merlin-but Merlin had done that with no knowledge of magic. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. "Merlin? How powerful are you?"

"Er… Well… I still am learning about me and my magic…"

"But?"

"I… have been told I am the most powerful wizard who has ever lived and who will ever live."

Merlin bit his lips as Arthur's jaws dropped. A 'what' had been squeaked, but now his king was speechless. He knew he had dropped a big pin, he just hoped it wasn't too big.

For his part, Arthur felt shocked-but more importantly, he felt awed. He had had an inkling Merlin was powerful, but not to this point. And to think he had chosen to remain his servant-to be his best friend. What did Arthur do to deserve him? Did he even really deserve him?

Merlin's eyes narrowed. Oops, Arthur had spoken out loud. "You're the only one I would ever serve, Arthur. I want to use my powers for you, and only you. No one deserve it more than you."

"Thank you Merlin." Arthur could only reply, red-faced and happiness bumbling in his chest.

"So, I saved Gaius. Then he kind of charged on me. He was all like 'What did you do?' and 'Where did you study?' and 'Tell me the truth!'. I was so scared he would report me I could only answer him. My heart was beating so hard, especially when he heard me say I was born like this and said it was impossible."

"Gaius didn't know about that?"

"I told you, I am the first like that. And probably the last." Seeing Arthur's questioning glance, he said mysteriously. "It comes with being Emrys." He laughed when Arthur seemed even more confused, but he just told him "Later."

"Gaius eventually asked me who I am, and I felt relieved when he brightened when I told him I was Merlin. He let me put my things in my future room, and I just had to ask if he would say anything."

Arthur could only think 'Of course, he just had witnessed an execution.'

"As you can guess, he didn't. He thanked me instead, and I suddenly knew things would be okay. That he would help me. I was so happy, and to top that the view I had from my window was so beautiful. I already loved the city, and I remember thinking I may have found somewhere I could fit."

Merlin and Arthur exchanged a smile. They both knew now that Merlin did fit here-more than anywhere.

Taking a mysterious air, Merlin said "Though, a creepy voice started calling me in my sleep. I thought I dreamed it, but later I discovered I didn't." Arthur opened his mouth to ask, but close it when he heard the emphasis on 'later'. He just pouted, making Merlin chuckle.

"Gaius decided to test me then. I was eating my breakfast when he made a bucket of water fell. I stopped it mid-air by reflex, but when I saw his shocked face, I realized what I had done and I released it. I think he was still baffled by the day before, and wanted to know how I was doing magic exactly. He questioned me, thinking I cast a spell in my mind."

"So magical users can cast spells in their minds?" Arthur asked-thinking of Morgause and her tower of fire. She hadn't cast a spell at that time-well, not one he had heard.

"Yes, in fact it is what happens when you see someone doing magic and there's no spell said aloud. Though, only strong sorcerers can do that-and generally small spells. To my knowledge, we are only four who has been able to use stronger spells while casting in our mind: Morgana-once she gained more power, Morgause, Mordred and me."

Arthur frowned as Merlin bit out the three names. It surprised him to hear the young druid boy's name, but he could guess Merlin knew something he didn't. It meant that out of the four, Merlin was the only one on his side.

"Gaius just stared at me as I mopped the floor-without magic. I was afraid to use my magic again. Beside, most of the times I used it only by reflex. I always knew how to move objects purposely, but as I grew up I hardly used my magic purposely. That was too dangerous."

Arthur clenched his fist. The more he listened, the more he hated the moment he was reminded Merlin had been afraid and had to hide. At least, he could amend for all these years, now that he knew.

"Anyway, he sent me to deliver some of his potions-until I could feel a paid work. He already worried for me, warning me to be careful. That was when I met you for the first time."

They smiled at each other, remembering.

"I thought you were simply a knight, and you reminded me of bullies at Ealdor. I always had a big mouth, it gave me and Will a lot of trouble-though Will was half-responsible most of the time. Thankfully, my magic often acted up subtly."

Arthur chuckled with Merlin. "I can see that. That makes me think… You said at that time that I shouldn't attack you… Did you..?"

"Not this time. I knew my magic could act up to protect me. However, it didn't. I guess it knew already who you were-and who you would be. I'm glad it didn't, I wanted to slap myself when you told me you were the Prince."

Arthur smiled weakly. To be honest, he wasn't proud. He had really changed now, but who he had been always shame him now.

"So, I slept into jail, and I heard the voice again. It woke me, and I realized it wasn't a dream. Though Gaius arrived at that moment, so I kind of forgot. I got me out, but instead I met the stock for the first time. I met Gwen for the first time too, she came and introduced herself. We kind of hit on right away."

They shared a smile. Gwen was a friend to both of them, and it didn't surprise Arthur that Gwen and Merlin became friend fast.

"After that, I wanted to talk to Gaius about my gift. He said I was special-at that time I didn't really know how much. It was then that I learned that magic was usually studied for years, that spells were needed. As he said, I was a question that had never been asked before. I wondered about the ban of magic too. When Gaius told me people used it badly, I couldn't understand why."

Arthur's eyes became sad. To think Merlin hadn't even fathom the idea of magic used evilly…

"Now I know it wasn't really the case. People really started using it at wrong ends after the Purge started. I am not saying there was no evil magic user, but they were less numerous. Anyway, I first met Lady Helen-well Marie Collins-when I went to give her a preparation. I could feel the dark magic, but I didn't know what it was at the time. All I knew is that I was repulsed, and when I handed her the potion, I almost ran away. It was unsettling. I still don't like the feeling of dark magic, to be honest."

Merlin shuddered. The particular memory of the formorroh came to his mind, and he unconsciously edged closer to Arthur. The king noticed that, and before he could think, he rubbed Merlin's arm comfortingly.

"Then we met again. I… did use magic then."

"Really? What did you do?" Arthur was curious. He remembered wondering how much he would have to do for the 'peasant' to bow down to him-and how he had almost lost.

"When you were coming on me as I fell on the hay, I wrapped the chain of the mace around the two sickles. I made the box go into your way so you could bump your toe into it. I stretched the rope to make you fall. And I put the bucket behind to make you fall again. Then I saw Gaius, and I suddenly knew I had deceived him. Then you beat me."

Ah, that explained how Arthur had been so… clumsy.

"Gaius reprimanded me when we get back to our rooms. I told him you needed a lesson, and he replied magic should be studied, mastered and used for good, not for pranks. I was a bit angry, to be honest. I could move object with my mind before I could talk. I couldn't see what I had to master. Gaius told me I should know how to control myself. I admit he was right-though I still like to play pranks now sometimes-but at that time. I didn't want to. I feel like, if I can't use magic, I have nothing left."

Arthur noticed the use of the present, and he almost interrupted with a complaint. But he decided against it. The small sent his way was proof Merlin knew Arthur didn't agree.

"At that time, I… thought I was a nobody without it. That I might as well die."

This time, Arthur did protest. "I hope you don't think that anymore, Merlin."

"No! Not really… I mean, I have a place here now. But I don't ever want to lose my magic. " After all, Merlin was only human. Sometimes, he had doubts, and like anyone, he could feel down. "Gaius came to heal me then-I had stormed into my room. I asked why I was like that. I felt… like a monster. I was so unnatural, and villagers often said to me I was weird. Kids called me a monster-their preferred word because they couldn't understand me." Merlin snorted, but the pain of these years was still there.

Arthur edged closer, making their arms brush. The raven-haired glanced at the blond, seeking the comfort he knew would be in his eyes.

"You're going to know who called me in my sleep." Merlin commented cheerily. "The creepy voice was back again, and this time I woke up fully and went to investigate." He paused, reminding of something. "You know, my magic often agree with me when I want to help someone I like. I remember mentally adjusting Gaius' cover. Then I followed the voice. I had to pass close to the dungeons, but that wasn't a problem. Some magic to make the dice roll away, and the guards were chasing it!" They both laughed-though Arthur made a mental note to form his guards better.

Merlin hesitated a bit, gathering his courage. "I… met the Great Dragon."

Arthur stared wide eyed. "The same who attacked Camelot?"

Merlin winced. "Yes. But please, don't judge him. He helped me a lot, and he was bitter. He made a mistake he now regrets."

Arthur noticed Merlin's guilt underlining his voice. He could tell the dragon and Merlin were close, and now that he knew Merlin better…

He wouldn't be surprised if Merlin was the one who released him. Especially when he could remember Merlin saying he had make mistake he regretted-that he feared would make Arthur hate him.

But he had been honest when he said he couldn't hate him. The only thing that went through his mind was that Merlin must had a reason if he really freed the dragon.

"You know, it was probably the only time he called me by my name. He loves calling me Young Warlock." He commented with an amused voice.

"What is a warlock?"

"Basically, it's me. I mean, there are the sorcerer and sorceress who learn magic. Then there's the witch and wizard who are born with magical potential-like Morgana. There's the druids-a mix of the two. Some druids are trained by the others, some like Mordred had potential at birth. But they mainly are interested in nature. Finally, there's me-who was born magical. Kilgarrah is the only one who knows the term and what it means-being a dragon and all."

It took some confused second before Arthur realized Kilgarrah was the dragon.

"He started talking about destiny, while I was still amazed."

"He talked?" Arthur exclaimed.

"Of course, he is not a beast." Merlin replied. Arthur blushed slightly, feeling he would have offended the dragon if he was here-and that he had half-offended Merlin. "He told me my gifts had been given for a reason. I was so happy to have a purpose."

Arthur smiled softy-albeit a bit sadly. It was good to hear the hope coming into his voice, but it still saddened him to know how he had lived before. Getting out of his thoughts, he realized Merlin was looking at him proudly.

"He told me that you are The Once and Future King. That you will unite the land of Albion in an era of peace and prosperity. That you would face many threats from friends and foes. That I was needed to make sure you succeed. Recently, I understood I was literally born to protect you-that it had been the will of magic."

Arthur felt butterflies in his stomach. Merlin was born to protect him? For him? He was really going to be a good king? Arthur could only keep listening, awed.

"I didn't understand. I saw you as a bully. Kilgarrah said no one can choose or escape our destiny. However, it is more like… a path that will at some point in our life appear, and that you can take it or not. You can't choose which path will appear, you can't escape the path for appearing to you-but you can choose not to follow it. Or to divert from it, even if you do take it." Merlin beamed at Arthur. "As you can guess, I followed my path, and I never regretted it. I love this path." Not only his path, Merlin thought with a slight blush. "Though, I commented you were an idiot. I wasn't against the idea fully, but I wasn't happy about it at that time. That first changed when he commented it may be up to me to change that."

"And you did." Arthur admitted, making Merlin smile.

"Oh, I met Morgana the following day. That had been… funny-for lack of better word. She went straight behind her changing screen, and I soon realized she thought I was Gwen!" Arthur laughed at that. "Thankfully, Gwen arrived when Morgana needed help for her fastening."

"Finally, the feast came. I talked with Gwen again, though poor girl she was babbling. It was awkward. When Lady Helen started singing, I felt right away that something was wrong. My magic protected me. When everyone started falling asleep, I protected my ears-although it wasn't needed. But I can tell you, the appearing cobwebs were creepy. As she came toward you… I had no hesitation. I dropped the luster on her. Then she threw her knife, and I slowed down time so I could take you out of harm way in time. I guess I instinctively knew not to stop it mid-air. That would have been blatant."

"Indeed. And then, you became my manservant."

"I did. Gaius gave me his magic book he received at my age a bit later. He said he had finally found a use for it-and I admit, it made me happy. I had found my purpose… my destiny."

Arthur had to glanced down when Merlin gazed at him fondly. "Where is it now? We searched your room more than once, and never found it."

"The first time, it had on the floor. I managed to hide it under a cover while I distracted you. After all, I put it under a loose floorboard."

"Sneaky warlock, that's what you are." Arthur teased.

"Of course I am! How else could I save your backside?" Merlin joked back.

They shared a good laugh, before Merlin launched into the next story…

_To be continued…_


	3. Valiant

Hello dears!

I would have like to repost this chapter sooner, but I got caught up in other things XD Anyway, Merlin and Arthur are officially together in this chapter~~

**Pairing**: Merlin/Arthur. Background Lancelot/Gwen. Mentions of past Arthur/Gwen and Merlin/Freya (hard not to when we' re going through the seasons XD)

_**Small warning:** Kisses will happen in here and from now on~~ Be aware that some will be on the make out side in future chapters (which explain why I preferred to rate this story as M ;)). And also sweet talking and a bit less sweet talking (aka, implying future activities :P) in here and future chapters too!_

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_**Our Past**_

_Chapter two: Valiant._

"My next story starts the day after."

Arthur smirked. "Ah, with our first training session?"

"With your first beating session you mean?" Merlin grumbled. "You should have seen me when I came back to Gaius, I heard clanging!"

Arthur had the decency to blush, a bit ashamed. "Well, I wanted to know how long you will keep not bowing down to me. I'm glad you never did."

Merlin smiled. "Agreed. Who know how much of a prat you would have become if I did?" he teased. Arthur glared. "Alright, let's go back to the story. Gaius gave me a massage, and I used my first spell to make a book come to me. I was so happy to have learned some of them that I wanted to try. Plus, it felt great to be able to tame and rein my magic."

Arthur gave him a surprised look. "Tame and rein? What do you mean?"

"Well, usually my magic is like a raging storm, bubbling just there. Obviously, I manage not to let it break out, but if I get angry or distressed… It can snap. But when I use spells, it calms down a bit and the right amount goes to do what I want." He explained.

Arthur nodded along, all the while trying to picture how it felt to have so much power just there. To be always on guard. The king thought that Merlin was really strong then. Both in his abilities as a warlock and mentally-and probably more than Merlin realized himself. Two words caught his attention. "Right amount? What do you mean?"

Merlin thought back to the first time he had really snapped. "Well, if I don't use spells, my magic just goes and does what I want. The first time it happened… Let's just say that someone got completely… lightning-ed out of existence."

Both Arthur's eyebrows rose in surprise and astonishment. The implication that Merlin could kill with one thought-and that he did-should scare him, but it only reminded him of his amazement that such a kind yet powerful being was_ his_.

His protector, he thought quickly, but he could still hear the part of his heart he recently started hearing screaming for Merlin to really be his-in all senses. And that maybe, such fierce loyalty and devotion marked a similar feeling.

Arthur nodded for Merlin to continue, trying to tame his quick-beating heart.

"As you may guess, it earned me a slap on the head from Gaius. I tried defending myself by saying I would have pick it up myself if I felt my arms, but he told me what would he do if I got caught. He really prefers if I don't do magic when unnecessary. I kept using it for pranks and menial tasks for a while, though with time I did it less and less. Doesn't mean I still don't do these sorts of things sometimes." The warlock finished with an impish smirk, winking at Arthur-who suddenly knew he had been on the receiving hands of pranks without his knowledge.

"Anyway, at that time it was hard getting used to all my duties. I didn't realize yet the duties you had. Of course, I do now."

"And you help me through them. I hope you know that, Merlin." Arthur commented softly with a fond look.

Merlin glanced down with a light blush, pleased to have Arthur finally acknowledge him and his help. "Thank you Arthur. I do all I can for you." Their eyes met, both taking notice of the fondness in each other's face. For what seemed like hours, they stared at each other; searching. Wondering if they could find the same feeling deep into their heart and soul into the other.

The moment was broken when the fire crackled a bit.

"A-After that, I asked Gwen to show me how to correctly put an armor." Merlin admitted.

"Though, you still had trouble the first time." Arthur chuckled.

"And you couldn't admit you were nervous." Merlin cheekily retorted.

"I don't get nervous!" Arthur exclaimed, then deflated and frowned when Merlin raised an eyebrow. "I don't show it." He amended. "At least I didn't forget my sword."

It was Merlin's turn to glare, though it was kind of adorable with the blush of embarrassment. Then Arthur realized the thought he just had and coughed slightly, making a gesture to indicate that Merlin should tell the rest of the story.

"I admit, I was impressed. It was the first tournament I was seeing, and having all these knights here ready to battle… Even though one of them was Valiant." Merlin almost spat out the name. Arthur narrowed his eyes at the mention of the man, then couldn't determine the feeling he got when hearing his friend's obvious distaste of someone who had tried to kill him. It was a cross between happiness, smugness and pride-with a bit of awe. He could almost see himself grinning down at the cheating bastard, bragging about his warlock. His mind started going toward a proper reward for Merlin, but suddenly not all his thoughts were… appropriate, and he quickly turned back to Merlin talking again.

"Anyway, I… loved to see you fight. I still do. Though it bothered me when I started realizing your father put pressure on you." Arthur gave him a small smile. "I knew you loved fighting, but I also knew you couldn't really appreciate fully. I know you consider every fight is a test of your strength and kingship, but you have to admit, you didn't need certain pressure."

Arthur wondered about that a bit, and realized Merlin was right. He would have felt better if he wasn't practically forced to win. If he had known he would not deceive if he lost. Of course, the will of winning ran in his blood, but still. The raven-haired also proved he really understood him-better than himself sometimes.

A sudden thought occurred to him, and he blurted out, "I want to train you. I mean, I know you can defend yourself, but what if… what if you needed to protect yourself without magic?"

Merlin blinked, wondering about that. He wasn't sure it could happen, but at the same time, who knew what the future would bring? He might need to hide his magic because of something, and to be honest, Merlin really preferred if he had others tools to help him.

Of course, Arthur had often trained with him, so he knew the basics, but he understood very well Arthur's request. His king wanted to really train him, make sure he had more than basics. Merlin wasn't against the idea, the fact he would more spend time with Arthur also helped. Knowing he would have his full attention, that he would be an equal, that Arthur would be making sure he was safe…

"Yeah, I would love that. I don't think I'll turn as good as a knight, but yes, let's do that."

Arthur almost affirmed that Merlin could find himself better than he thought, but he remained silent. He would show him, instead.

"I cheered you, you know? I always cheer for you." Merlin told Arthur. "I also noticed right away Valiant. I wonder now if my magic already knew his ill intention. It wouldn't surprise me."

"That explained your creep comment. And to be honest, I felt the same. I didn't like his attitude." Arthur also remembered realizing Merlin and he seemed to get along nicely-agreeing even-before giving him chores to hide his uneasiness at taking notice of a bond different than master and servant.

The king could admit it now, the moment Merlin had voiced exactly his train of thoughts about Valiant, he thought they would make good friends-before remembering it had been his servant who had just talked.

Merlin suddenly chuckled, earning an amused and wondering look. "You gave le so many chores, and I wanted to study my magic book. So I did all my chores by magic, while reading my book. Though Gaius entered, and I had to drop everything. I believed he would berate me, but he refrained from it. After all, his look was enough."

Arthur barked out a laugh, picturing the scene with no problem. The second after, something pushed him down. He glanced up, but saw only Merlin smirking from where he had not moved. Then, he realized the other man had used magic. Arthur growled and sat up, almost pouncing on his manservant.

But his mind went back to the feeling of Merlin's magic-a gentle warmth even though its teasing task. Merlin tilted his head, curious. "What it is, Arthur?" He feared it had been too soon, but the wondering and hesitant look on his king's face indicated he only had a request.

"I… How does your magic feel?" I wished I could feel it fully, was left unsaid but clear between them.

Merlin widened his eyes, then beamed. His magic had reacted, knowing what to do-so eager that it had planted the answer in his mind. "Here."

Merlin took Arthur's hands in his, brushing his fingers on his palm in slight reassurance, before his magic rushed between them and toward The Once and Future King-the man his magic loved as much as Merlin did.

Arthur startled as a rush of warmth first assaulted him, then a brush of gentleness. Power licked at his hands, then surged inside him-Merlin's power. He trembled with a soft gasp, both at the sheer amount and the storm it was. Yet, all the while he instinctively knew it was only a tiny bit-one his body could accept without damages.

His heart fluttered as the magic between them guided his soul toward something that felt pure, and when devotion and admiration glowed and enveloped him, he guessed then that it was Merlin's soul.

Merlin, for his part, had shivers running down his spine at feeling Arthur so _close_ to him. He received the blunt of Arthur's good-hearted nature, his fairness, then the glory he possessed inside him. He gasped as he too felt Arthur's soul, so good and brilliant.

Both parted suddenly when love filtered from each other, unbidden and strong. Their eyes opened-both realizing they had closed them very soon at the beginning-and they met. Gold swirled for a second in each other's gazes, before only blue remained. Both could not deny the love, as both had felt it. Both had been able to feel the own love they carry, and the love of the other.

Arthur raised a hand slowly, hesitant yet not even wishing to stop. Merlin licked his lips, his breath coming out in quick puffs as Arthur's hand touched his cheek. A tender look appeared on the king's face, his fingers stroking oh so lightly. Merlin leaned into the touch, eyes fluttering close with a soft sigh. Then he leaned toward Arthur, his whole being singing with a joy he had never felt before. Arthur mirrored the other man's movement, his body and soul filled with a warmth he never thought was possible.

Merlin finally brushed his lips with his love, his destiny. Arthur sighed, surprising himself by thinking _finally_. They stayed close, locked into a chaste kiss, before parting by an inch-eyes still closed.

"I have loved you for so long. I never realized what I felt was love until I experienced once what it was. I now know I have loved you from the first days by your side." Merlin revealed, trembling from the warm breath he could feel on his face-so close.

"I believe I have too. But it was so strong; I never realized what it was-until Gwen left me. Then, I started realizing what I feel for you was more than I thought." Then something registered. "You have loved someone else?"

His question held no jealousy or anger-only curiosity. They opened their eyes, Merlin giving him a sad smile. "Yes… Like you loved Gwen. But some months ago, I realized how much stronger my love for you is."

Arthur nodded, knowing his loved for Gwen, as real as it had been, had been nothing to the one he had for Merlin. The warlock obviously experienced exactly the same thing. "Who is it? Do I know this person?"

By now, they had parted fully. They had all the time to enjoy their newfound relationship, to freely love each other. For now, talking was more important.

Merlin went into Arthur's laps, settling against his chest-smiling softly as two strong arms immediately enveloped his waist and a nose nuzzled his hairs with affection. "This is a story for later. It is part of our past. But yes, you kind of knew her." Merlin replied, a sad undertone in his voice. Arthur clenched tighter, sensing something had gone wrong. "Okay, let's continue Valiant's story, shall we?" The blond man offered, willing to patiently wait for Merlin each story. "He got what he deserved, in the end. Do you know he made me jealous?" he decided to admit, not minding sharing like Merlin shared. "Though now, I can't believe I had eyes on Morgana."

Merlin snorted. "Well, you didn't know she was your half-sister. And I don't think your father would have agreed to a marriage, if it ever came to that." Merlin frowned. "Though we can't know."

Arthur felt a shiver ran down his spine. "Anyway! Keep going,_ love_."

Merlin flushed brightly-satisfaction at hearing the sweet sword and tone filling him. "The next day, while I was taking your armor, I heard the snakes hiss. When I looked at the shield, one blinked. Valiant put his sword under my nose when I went to touch it. He was so menacing; I felt something was off, but all I could think of was to run away with your armor."

Arthur clutched slightly, not liking the fact Merlin had been so close to danger, and wondering how many times it happened, how far danger grabbed his warlock-a poisoned chalice coming to mind. "Running toward me? I'm glad you seek safety from me." He half-teased, also being serious. It didn't matter if Merlin was an all-powerful being. Arthur would protect him as much as Merlin has protected him every day since he arrived. No matter if it was physically, mentally or emotionally.

Merlin turned slightly with a soft smile and managed to plant a small kiss to Arthur's jaws. "I do feel safe with you.' He let Arthur capture his upper lips for a light nip, before continuing his tale.

"I liked seeing you all impressed and surprised by my work."

"Even if you cheated."

"I didn't cheat! I used all my abilities to do my job." He retorted smartly. "And I really am a fast learner-in all kind of field. It helped too that I did not find everything horrible." He commented with a smirk.

Arthur wondered if he talked about some of his tasks or Arthur himself, and settled for both.

"It is then than Sir Ewan got bitten. Gaius saw the marks when he treated him in our rooms. He showed it to me, and diagnosed that he needed the venom to do the antidote-because all symptoms lead to poisoning. I remembered quickly who he was fighting, and about the strange shield. I went straight so check I had to see by myself if I had figured out the truth. And I did get what I needed. I saw him feed the snakes with mice." Merlin stuck out his tongue, disgusted. Arthur wrinkled his nose in answer. "I left quickly, Valiant must have heard me as he followed, but gratefully I managed to not be seen."

"I told Gaius what I witnessed. He warned me I needed a proof to be believed when I wanted to tell you."

Arthur sighed. "My father would have not listened otherwise. And even then… This stupid view has to change." The blond frowned, reminding himself of his snapping at Merlin.

Merlin rubbed his hands, guessing; and focused on keeping the tale going. "So I did not tell you right away. I let the next day come, keeping an eye on Valiant. But I knew I had to act when I saw the final round would be between you and him."

"Gaius finally agreed with me; we had to stop Valiant. He told me he needed to cure Sir Ewan, as his words would help us uncover the truth about Valiant. That is when I went to cut the snake's head. We needed the venom, and it was also another proof."

"Good thinking." Arthur congratulated, realizing his friend wasn't as stupid as everyone believed. It pained him to realize how much he had underestimated the man he loved-how much he told hurtful words to someone so clever and powerful. How Merlin had stayed loyal and kind to him when Arthur often hurt him-without his knowledge sometimes. Now that their past was uncovered, Arthur could see which things may have hurt Merlin.

Arthur felt glad that he could now amend that, and that both could be themselves-together.

"I waited for the diner, and went to his room. I used a spell to open the door-practice, you know?-then took a sword. They didn't react right away as I touched the shield, but a door opening and footsteps outside made me turn, and one came out. I heard the hissing and saw the shadow. Thankfully, I have fast reflex. I chopped his head off when it went to bite me. The other two came out too, but I grabbed the head and left."

"I gave it to Gaius so he could take the venom, then I came to tell you. I still remember your surprised face! You couldn't believe it!"

Arthur chuckled. "True. Now I may not believe you if you said you _couldn't_ do something." He half-teased, half-wondered.

Merlin frowned a bit. "To be honest, I don't know if I can. Do anything, I mean. There are things that seem impossible, even for me, but no one can really know. Even Kilgarrah told me he doesn't know my magic's limit. He says that for all he knows, I could bend to my will the laws of magic, like a life for a life, if I really snapped." Merlin shivered. "Who knows what I can do?" he wondered aloud-fear of himself in his tone.

Arthur put his head on his shoulder, brushing his lips on his neck-just above his neckerchief. "We will figure this together. And I will never let you snap." He smiled gently as Merlin peaked at him-a smile the warlock thought he would never receive, that would be given to only Gwen. And now, a smile so much tenderer graced Arthur's face-directed only at him. "Plus, you are a pure and kind soul, Merlin. I felt it. You may believe you tainted yourself, but your magic showed me. You always had the purest of intention. You are still pure and innocent deep inside-you just have seen and done more than the average. More than anyone, truly. Don't you think the fact you never lost yourself is a sign you will never be as you fear? I believe in you Merlin, and I trust you. So trust in yourself now."

Some tears fell down Merlin's eyes as Arthur's words lifted a weight he never truly registered. "You are the one keeping me sane." He admitted. With such trust from Arthur, how could he believe he had tainted his soul? How could he believe he would one day turn into a monster?

No, he realized now, it would never happen. No matter what. Because Arthur believed in him, and he would never break that. Maybe, just maybe, he could start forgiving himself for his mistakes, for the killing he had to do.

"Thank you Arthur." The gratefulness was so heartfelt that Arthur could only grin fondly, burying his nose into his neck. "These words mean so much to me. There were so many things I did to protect you, to keep my magic secret, that I feared I was losing myself. I never forgave myself, you know? Some things…"

"Then tell me. Tell me everything and let me forgive you. Then you will be able to forgive yourself." Arthur cut firmly. "We both did wrong in our past, but it is time we move on and do better."

Merlin beamed, a sunny smile that reflected how much of a weight Arthur was lifting from him. "In the end, you believed me. With Valiant."

"Well, I didn't think you were lying. In all honesty, I think I never believed you lied. But I knew accusing Valiant-of magic of all things-would be risky. However, when you said you knew your words count for nothing, I realized you were certain of yourself. When you said you would not lie to me, I believed you."

A guilty look flashed across Merlin's face, and Arthur didn't need words to guess about what. "Merlin-you had to hide your magic. I understand why. We both can't know how it would have gone if it was revealed when my father was still alive. You had to hide for your whole life. I guess I am not surprised you could never find the right moment. It was either too soon, or too late… I am grateful my parents opened my eyes on you."

Merlin shifted, snuggling back a bit. Now that Arthur really knew him, knew his whole being and not only one part, his king seemed to be able to read him even more than before. As well as he could read Arthur. He squeezed back the hands lying on his stomach in thanks, then spoke again.

"Then we confronted Valiant. But Sir Ewan died during the confrontation. Gaius and I thought it must have been Valiant, but we had no proof anymore."

Arthur realized something. "You warned me not to let my father touch the shield, just in case. It doesn't really surprise me of course, although… you may have also not care. I mean…" he bit his lips. He didn't want to imply Merlin would let someone die just like that, but at the same time why would he care that much?

Merlin smiled. "I understand what you mean. I don't think I ever really hated Uther, you know? What he did hurt and I may have had moments when I almost did not care, but in the end I only felt pity. Especially once I knew why he hated magic. I know he is your father, but he lost himself when your mother died. I'm just glad he is well now that he is in Avalon. And just so you know, I couldn't let him die-because you loved him. There has been time when… I felt less sympathy for him, but in the end I didn't want you to suffer. If you ask Kilgarrah, he will also tell you it would have hardened your heart to magic if he died because of it. I admit it was true, even if it wasn't at the front of my mind."

"Did you save my father then? You speak like you have been confronted with this."

"Yes, I did. I admit I almost didn't once, but in the end I had my eyes opened. I saved him something like three or four times-not counting when I saved all of Camelot. Even when he died, he was supposed to be saved."

Arthur blinked. "What do you mean by that? Are you talking about this Dragoon?"

Merlin suddenly looked down, gnawing at his lips. "I am trying to tell things in order, you know? It helps understanding." He commented with amusement-though something was obviously on his mind. "But I'll tell you this: Dragoon really tried to save your father. But Morgana and Aggravaine were the ones to kill him."

Arthur's face hardened eyes like thunder. "I should have known." Then he calmed down a bit as he felt Merlin stroking his arms. "You know Dragoon then?"

"I prefer answering this when the moment will come, if you don't mind."

Arthur wrinkled his nose, annoyed he had to wait for so much, but knowing he would eventually learn about everything. He nodded to let Merlin continue with the current story.

"So, it went wrong with Valiant. Once Valiant pushed you to withdraw the accusation, Gaius knew it would be dangerous to push the matter to the king again. Even if we had the snake's head and the bite marks. My words count for nothing. It didn't help though that I felt so angry-especially when he looked satisfied as you left." Merlin commented bitterly.

Arthur winced. "Remind me to not do mistakes like that again."

"I certainly will." Merlin smirked-though he meant it. Especially if it prevented Arthur to trust the wrong person, like Aggravaine. "It angered me enough that he managed to make you seem…" he trailed off.

Both knew what he meant. Arthur had indeed been hurt when his own father wouldn't believe him. "And to think I lashed out at you. I am so sorry, Merlin."

"It's fine, Arthur. I quickly understood then and I still do."

"But I hurt you like my father hurt me!" He pushed Merlin closer, breathing in his scent. With him, he didn't feel like he had to stay strong. He could show weakness, he could say sorry. He knew he would not be judged, that Merlin would stay by his side.

Merlin head butted him slightly in the shoulder. "Enough. You told me you would forgive me so I could too. Well, it is the same for you. I have forgiven you all these years ago, so stop feeling bad."

Arthur smiled softly. "How can I refuse when you go all wise warlock?"

Merlin slapped his arm, his smile betraying his satisfaction. "So, you sacked me. I went straight to see Kilgarrah. I was confused and angry, and most of all sad. So I didn't really mean what I said." He babbled. Arthur stroked his arms to calm him down-a gesture both know would become a habit. "I told him h-he had the wrong person. I guess deep down I hoped he would help me. And he did-in his way. Once I asked how my destiny was to protect someone who hated me," Arthur made a sound of protest, but Merlin hushed him, "He replied a half cannot hate what makes it whole. That my path and yours lies together. I was frustrated at that time-him and his riddle, I bed he loves seeing me confused by them-but now I guess I understand." Merlin blushed, glancing down shyly. Arthur gave him a fond look at the display, but chose to simply stroke his thumbs in his palms. "We did make peace after Valiant was killed, and I guess I understand the whole 'coin' thing now."

Arthur then did smirk, kissing his love's flaming cheek. "I think I do too."

Merlin coughed. "Ahem! He told me it was not the end but only the beginning before flying off. I swear, he almost never gives me a straight answer. It seems like magic comes with riddles." He snorted.

"Later, as I was deep in thought in Camelot's courtyard, Gwen came and talked to me. She wanted to know if it was true about Valiant, and what I was going to do. She told me I had to prove everyone wrong, that I was right. It was one of the times she unknowingly helped me."

Arthur chuckled. It didn't really surprise him.

"I suddenly had an idea. I brought back one dog statue in my room, to try getting it to come to life with a spell I had passed over once-so I could show the snakes."

"Ah! That's why Valiant was surprised!"

"Yeah. Though I admit, I spend the whole night trying. When I came to see you, I had stopped because I was frustrated."

"Really? How come?" Arthur questioned, not sure what it meant Merlin had taken the whole night.

"Well, even if I have powers, it takes time to learn to direct it-to properly use the spells. The spell I could already use were centering on moving objects-something I already did before. This was new. However, I will let you know I still learned faster, compared to others. I _am_ a fast learner-even more with magic."

"So one night isn't in fact long to learn a spell?"

"No. For someone else, it might have taken days, at best. And considering the nature of the spell, I would even say weeks. These corresponding to a sorcerer of a good level-like Morgause."

Arthur digested this, happy to learn a bit more about magic. To learn a bit more about Merlin, and his world of magic.

"When you explained why you wouldn't withdraw, I understood without agreeing. I knew I had to succeed. I guess it is what gave me the strength to stay all night until the roost crowed. I was half-asleep, but I kept casting. It finally worked-though I think it helped I was almost sleeping. My magic acted up on its own, I believe."

Arthur smiled fondly. Wasn't he lucky to have Merlin here for him? "You know, Morgana came to help me put my armor. She was really worried." He couldn't help but remember.

"She genuinely cared. But once she realized she had magic… It went downhill from here. Uther and Morgause are at fault, but I am too. I maybe didn't help her like I should have." Merlin guiltily admitted.

Arthur glanced at Merlin. "Is it part of one of the mistakes you feared I would hate you for?"

"… Yes. Though the exact mistake hadn't been told yet. I…"

"Merlin… Tell me in order, remember? I have to see things as you did."

Merlin smiled. "You are right. So, it worked eventually. And the dog almost bit my head off! I left quickly, slamming the door shut and warning Gaius not to go into my room. Knowing him, he might have taken a peek." He chuckled.

"I arrived in the middle of the fight and waited for the right moment to cast. Thankfully, it worked right away." Merlin frowned. "Thinking back on it, it still endangered you."

"You did what you could. Gaius could have made an antidote again, and Valiant was exposed. In the end, he was killed and I wasn't hurt." Arthur reassured.

"And you hired me again." Merlin added. "Though you never bought me that drink!" he joked.

Arthur smirked. He leaned into his ear, licking the shell lightly-which earn him a yelp. Then he whispered huskily, "Well, maybe I should _make it up_ to you?" The meaning if these words made quite… clear by his wandering hands.

Merlin stopped their travel south, clearing his throat and turning scarlet. "Ah… Uh-I… Let me finish will you?" he squeaked, his voice wavering.

Arthur gave a low laugh, but relented. "Well, let's start the next story then!"

_To be continued…_


End file.
